


I Know You

by Scorpioluxee



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anger, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Jedi, Lost Love, Love, Other, Power Dynamics, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:09:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24642268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scorpioluxee/pseuds/Scorpioluxee
Summary: You have been kidnapped by the first order, but you can't help this burning feeling that there is something familiar about your masked captor Kylo Ren. You are shocked and horrified to learn as he removes his mask that he is not a stranger to you at all, but someone you knew once long ago.
Relationships: Ben Solo & Reader, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	1. Taken

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> It took me a really long time to get the courage to start/continue writing this. I haven't written anything in several years and I am extremely critical of everything I do. I just couldn't get this story out of my head So I decided to give it ago. I hope you like it. I have so many plans for our BB Kylo. I would love your feedback!

Loud crashing in the distance jolts you back to consciousness. Your eyes flutter open, mind in a dizzying haze trying to piece together what had just happened. You lay sprawled out on the barren ground of the village, your body begins to ache as you slowly start to rise to look around you. An explosion had sent you and half of the building flying across the dirt road. Disoriented you stumble to pick yourself up off the ground, surveying the destruction. Your mind still fuzzy, buildings collapsing around you. Beings are running in every direction, it is unclear that there even is a safe place to hide. You quickly realize what has happened as TIE Fighters scream overhead. The First Order- just as the resistance fighters warned not hours ago. Their leader Kylo Ren was on a rampage devouring everything in his path to obliterate any resistance fighter or supporter he came across.

A Sharp pain rings in your side. You begin to take note of the personal damage you’ve acquired. Dirt and blood sprinkle your limbs. Reality is settling in, things are not moving in slow motion anymore. It aches to walk, but you rush to find cover. Another blast sends your body flying through the air. The impact of your landing sends the air ripping out of your lungs. There is no time to brace for what followed. Rubble from the building that was just serving as your shelter, now pins you to the ground. You try to keep a grasp on what little consciousness you can feel escaping your mind. But the pain of the blow consumes you and your mind flutters into darkness.

Time passes. You are aware that your body has been moved, carried off somewhere, but your eyes were too heavy, betraying you. Your mind sways in and out. Distant beeping and hums of machinery can be heard. You manage to open your eyes slightly to steal a glance of your surroundings every now and then. From what you can gather in your foggy mind, its dark and cold. Your eyes shut again. There are only flashes, when your consciousness wavers in and out allowing you to try and piece together where you are. You don’t know how much time has passed. The only memory stuck in your mind is that of the masked figure looming over you. You can’t even be sure that it really happened, or If your mind had been playing tricks on you. The pain of your injuries overcomes you and sends your thoughts into the worst possible scenarios. You can’t fight it anymore. Unable to focus on anything but the pain, you let the heaviness overcome you and let your mind drift away.

Its been hours since you woke in the small room you had been placed in. Your injuries had been expertly tended to from the looks of the bandages on your side, but there had been no indication of where you were or what you were doing there. Your room only offered a small bed, no amenities and no way out it seemed, no matter how hard you tried to open the door, the lack of interior control panel made your efforts useless. You had assumed that prisoners of The First Order- if that’s what you were- were treated worse than this, which made you wonder why you were there. Perhaps they had seen you talking with the resistance fighters that had been passing through your planet and mistaken you for one of them?

Your thoughts are interrupted by the sudden whiz of your door flying open without warning. Your body tenses but you ignore the pain that causes, you struggle to rise to your feet, anticipating whatever torture is sure to come. You might be in pain, but you wont go down without putting up a fight. Your breath catches as a wave of black robes enter the room. Something tugs at your subconscious, a familiar feeling invades the back of your mind, but you ignore it as your eyes settle on the metal helmet. The tall masked figure freezes at the door. His gaze locked on you. You can feel the rage seeping off of his body. His body, though sheathed in heavy fabrics, tall and built strong. You ignore the curiosity this observation stirs in you. Your suspicions from before, as much as you wanted them not to be, were true. There in front of you, stood your captor. Kylo Ren.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He stood there at the base of the small forest. His back hunched over in anger. Rage engulfed his body as the storm trooper approaches. He can feel the thoughts forming in his head. He knows what he will say before the modified words leave his helmet. The storm trooper informs him that the resistance fighters had escaped just before their arrival. It is unclear if they were successful in procuring the map, but it was no where to be found in their search of the village. The leather around his fists tightened, a nearby building exploded to pieces. He decided a tantrum here would only give the resistance more time to escape and continue their search.

He raises a hand to dismiss the storm trooper. “Prepare my ship” his modified voice cuts through the air.

He collected himself and paced back to his ship, passing the rubble left by his rage. Something pulled to him once more. The same feeling that had invaded his mind as his shipped entered the atmosphere of this planet. He had brushed it off then, but it called to him now, burned inside of him. He looked to the settling dust of the collapsed building he had destroyed with the flinch of his fist. He scanned the rubble, eyes narrowing under his mask as he noticed the limbs, lifeless, peaking through the stone. He waved a hand, his eyes now widening as stone by stone lifted, and a body was revealed to him. His mask panned up her legs, to her torso, searching for her face. He didn’t want to admit to himself that his breath hitched in his throat when his eyes finally landed on **_her_ **face. He paused contemplating for a moment. He could easily let the stones fall to crush her. Ensuring she would not survive, but for reasons he could not explain to himself, he picked up her limp body and carried her to his ship.

Thoughts betrayed his mind as he placed her unconscious body down slowly, careful not to injure her more. As the ramp closed behind him, he wondered how she ended up here and why her presence called to him so clearly. Anger crept in as he felt sympathy for her.

His ship hummed through space as he sat in silence at the front of the ship in an attempt to be as far from her as he could. His eyes were closed and his balled up, leather clad fist was pulsing in front of his face. He questioned his actions and felt this overwhelming wave of confliction wash over him. Which only irritated him more.

_Why did he pull her out of the rubble? Why was her presence calling out to him? Pulling him toward her?_

He could not let his mind wander back to a time when he cared for her. _Kylo Ren_ in fact, never cared for her. That was a person from another time, and he wasn’t that person anymore, that person was dead

Once arriving back to the Finalizer, he raced back to his quarters, but not before ordering that the girl be cared for in the medbay and placed in her own cell, not with the others, and that she be bandaged up. “The First Order needs her alive” or so he told himself. His black robes billowed as he stomped through the dark glossy hallways to his quarters, officers and storm troopers rushing to move out of his way. This indescribable feeling taking over him only caused more anger and rage to build up inside of him. How was she able to have this hold over him?

_Still_?

It was no matter. He barely had a grasp on the man he was when he knew her. That man didn’t exist anymore. He was weak and foolish. Kylo Ren had the power to take whatever he wanted… whenever he wanted. And her presence made this no different. His curiosities about her were just that. He would entertain his thoughts of her until she served him no more purpose. Then he would be finished with her. For good. Whether she lived or died when he was through with her, made no difference to him, he thought, convincing himself.

Days passed on as she laid in an unconscious slumber. Her injuries, though severe, were not lethal. The thought of her in pain brought a familiar twinge to his body.

Once he was assured that she would make a full recovery, he kept his distance from her. He tried to banish thoughts of her from his mind, but it was no use. Even unconscious, she had a hold over him. He sat in darkness at the edge of his bed, hands on his large thighs fighting the internal battle in his mind. He decided to give in and pay her cell a visit, but he would keep his distance.

He stood at the doorway to her room, already regretting the decision as he felt the pull toward her. Fighting an internal battle with himself, he knows he will not win it. He slowly enters the room, quieting the pound of each footstep as he crosses to the small bed she sleeps on. Her injuries were severe enough to put her out for a few days while she had been tended to in the medbay. He quietly had her moved from the small dark cell to her own room once she was stable.

Kylo watched her sleep, watched her chest rise and fall with every breath she took. He made note of how the years had treated her body. Scars in places that were once smooth and perfect in his memory. He wondered what her life had become in all that time. Realizing his fists were clenched, he raised a hand and removed one glove. He hesitated as his bare hand lingered over the soft flesh of her arm. The time that had passed, the things he had done since he last saw her flashed through his mind. Was she even aware of what he had become? Surely she had to know who he was now… Frustration seeped off his body as he lowered his hand and swiftly turned to exit her room.


	2. Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up to find yourself bandaged up and placed in a small room of your own. You dont know how many days have passed or why your masked capture feels so familiar to you.. until.. he reveals himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think the nerves of posting my work will ever go away. I just hope that my story brings someone joy as it will not leave my head and I must try to get it onto the screen. Please feel free to leave me feedback as it is always appreciated!

You awake in a small room, disoriented with a severe pounding in you head. You have been placed on a bed and your injuries have been tended to since your capture. You slowly get out of the small bed and head to the mechanical doors. Realizing they wont open, your suspicions are confirmed. You must have been taken prisoner for some reason. The sudden sound of heavy footsteps floods the corridor outside your door. You back away from the door quickly, anticipating the worst.

You stand there, mouth agape as the doors slide open quickly and Kylo Ren enters your room. Realizing you didn’t want him to know the affect he had on you, the fear building up inside of you, you compose yourself. Adjusting your gaze to stare blankly back at him, to show strength instead of fear, to show that you will not be intimidated by a monster in a mask. This feat was easy at first, but the pain from your wounds was magnified by standing upright for the first time in… how long had you been there? You felt his eyes burning holes into your body. You could not see them, but you knew that they were there underneath all the metal and fabric.

“You’re awake”

The altered voice ate at your spine. You had only heard rumors of what he sounded like. In all of your years traveling the galaxy, you had managed to avoid The First Order and their vicious leaders. Only relying on tales from fellow travelers to give you insight into the terrors they brought to the galaxy.

“Are you in pain?”

Your brow furrowed as you tried to comprehend the question. He moved closer to you and your body stiffened causing your body to ache and an audible gust of air sucked in through your teeth. He stopped at the sound, not advancing towards you anymore. Just silently staring, making you feel uncomfortable. You can’t help but notice that there is something about him that makes you even more uncomfortable still. You watch his small movements and feel some familiarity in them. You quickly brush those feelings aside. You don’t know this monster, there is nothing familiar about him.

You realize as you were lost in your thoughts that he had slowly inched his way closer to you. You back up only to feel the cold wall of your room pressed against your back.

“Have you become mute?!” he spits at you

You realize you haven’t spoken, haven’t answered his questions since he entered abruptly.

“N No…” Angered that your reply sounded so fearful, you straighten up “I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine” his mechanical voice spits

“I.. I’m sorry but why do you care… why am I here?!” you spit back

He says nothing, you move to speak again, gathering more strength but before your words can escape your mouth he turns and vanishes from your room. Black robes slapping your legs as he does so before the door slams shut. You stand there for a moment, utterly confused by that interaction. You realize that your heart is racing, you are unable to shake the feeling in the back of your mind. Like you’ve forgotten something important, its right at the tip of your tongue but you don’t know what it is.

After pacing your room for what felt like hours, running over the events of the last few days, you return to the bed in the corner of the room and drift off to sleep.

Your door flies open, startling you awake. You freeze once your eyes adjust and you notice his dark cloaked figure standing in the doorway.

“Stand” he orders

Reluctantly you oblige. You catch yourself slowly inching your way backwards, as if you have anywhere to go to escape his presence. Before you can even stop yourself, the words are spilling out of you.

“Look, I don’t know what I’m doing here…”

He pauses his advance towards you, your words catching him off-guard.

“I have nothing to do with the resistance… “

You find yourself rambling. “I think maybe I am here by mistake?”

In one swift movement, your body is pinned to the wall. Unable to move, unable to breathe as an invisible clutch is wrapped around your neck. Gasping for air as he approaches you. Your eyes widen, his body is mere inches from yours. You struggle to get the words past your lips “…I..I..”

“SILENCE”

His mechanical voice pierces through his helmet. His metal gaze fixed on your face. You can feel the invisible grip on your throat loosening and you struggle to fight to fill your lungs with air. His fists pound the wall landing on either side of your head. Startled, you try to contain your spasms choking for air.

“I’ve. Made. No. Mistake.”

“You are here for me”

“You are mine”

You stop struggling at the sound of those words filling the room. Confusion and anger wash over your body. Who does he think he is? You calm yourself enough to look him deadpan into his masked eyes.

“What the fuck do you want from me”

He doesn’t speak. Doesn’t move. His body barely inches from yours pinned against the wall. His mechanical breaths sending shivers down your spine. You fight to keep your calm fearless demeanor. You wont let him scare you into submission for whatever sick plans he might have for you.

And with that last sentence, the grip fastening you to the wall is released and you fall to the ground. You don’t even notice that he has left your room because of the terror that has overcome your body.

_‘you are his’?_

As the adrenaline rushes out of your body, you can’t help but wonder what his words meant. You’re frightened as sick and twisted thoughts enter your mind. Every inch of you intends to fight back. You belong to no one.

Every jolt of your cell door opening sends you into a panic. You’ve exhausted yourself, ready to put up a fight at any moment. This monster believes, for some reason, that you _belong_ to him. You’ve spent the past few nights considering all of the terrible things his sick mind must have in store for you. Your thoughts trail off to the travelers who passed through your village. You had heard enough tails of The First Order and Kylo Ren. The murder and destruction he left everywhere he went. You knew enough to know that they didn’t often treat their prisoners with mercy, let alone keep them alive. What you still were unable to comprehend was _why_ you were a prisoner. You can only imagine that he has only one thing in mind for you, and your stomach churns as the thoughts roll through your mind.

When Kylo Ren finally does enter your cell again, you’re tired, but on edge. Sensing your anger he raises his hand, using his power to pin you to the wall. The unfair advantage he has over you sends anger up your spine. He stands there. Masked. Staring at you.

“WHAT do you want from me?!” you shout.

You try your hardest to kick, to break free, but its no use. The invisible hold he has on you is too strong. That familiar pang creeps into your mind again. You can’t help but feel that there is _something_ in the air. Familiar electricity… connecting you? You can’t place it, but you refuse to have anything familiar between you and this creature.

You scream obscenities at him gathering no response. He only saunters over to you slowly. Becoming agonizingly close. Had he not been wearing this ridiculous helmet, you would feel his breath on your face. There it is again, that twinge of familiarity radiating off of him. You hurl those thoughts out of your head.

He doesn’t say a word. You can feel him, his eyes under the mask staring at you. Fear begins creeping back into your mind. You can sense the way this is about to go. You figure if you can anger him enough maybe he will just kill you instead of…

You decide if you’re going to die, you deserve to know who was killing you.

“Take off your helmet you fucking coward!”

His body stiffens.

“ If I’m going to die I deserve to know the coward behind the mask!”

You know that he won’t oblige you, but you can’t help but revel in the fact that he does not like being called a coward. You begin to scream again when he silences you with a wave of his hand. He backs away slowly, staring at you. Your eyes narrow as you watch him raise his gloved hands to his helmet. You can sense the hesitation seeping off of him.

Moments pass and you finally hear it.

The release of his helmet.

He is slowly lifting it off of his head.

Layers of long, black, waves of hair are the first things to escape his helmet.

You can’t understand why but this sends a painful jolt in the pit of your stomach.

The helmet raises more and you see the peach of his skin, and then the pink fullness of his lips.

_Again, that familiar pang floods your mind_.

Your body feels as though it is not your own. You’re unaware as to why, but you can’t contain this overwhelming emotion flooding over you.

He lifts the helmet fully off his head.

His empty eyes are staring into you. His brow furrowed in… anger? Pain?

All the breath you have escapes your body as you silently mutter “no”, tears begin to stream down your cheeks.

His body is so close to yours now.

You can feel the warmth, even through his layers of black.

His gloved hand is at your cheek, fingers in your hair, his thumb wiping a tear away.

You squeeze your eyes shut because it’s the only control you have over your body.

You slowly feel his invisible grip loosen on you. You open your eyes to see his. What is that you see in them?

Realizing you are free to move, you gather your strength and push his hand away with everything you have and move to the corner of the room, as far as you can get from him.

“No!” “GET OUT!”

He lingers, his eyes wide but his brow angry.

“GET THE FUCK OUT!” you scream..

He makes one small advance towards you, stopping only as you wince away from him. In one quick motion he is gone, the door closing behind him.

You waited until you heard his footsteps stomp down the corridor before you allowed yourself to sob. Uncontrollable anger and sorrow pulsed over your body. You now knew why he felt so familiar to you. Every time he moved you subconsciously knew those movements from another time in your life. The familiar electricity in the air around you, it all made sense. The man behind the mask was no stranger to you. No stranger to your hands, to your lips, to your body. The realization of his identity finally taking over your entire being caused you to let out a scream so painful you had to catch your breath. The pain of realizing that the monster known as Kylo Ren was a man you once knew, a man you once loved… A man you had up until now, believed to have been dead. Ben Solo.


	3. Conflicted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren has just revealed his identity to you and you are shocked and devastated to find out that he is your old love Ben Solo. You dream about the moment you met and the time you shared together. Kylo is angered at your response to his revelation. He is conflicted by his duties and this effect you have over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guysss!  
> this chapter gives a tiny bit of backstory to how you met Ben. We see Kylo struggle with his internal conflict over what to do with you.   
> As always I truly appreciate you reading my work. As I look over it I realize there are a lot of things I need to work on which stopped me from posting for so long in the first place. Bare with me as I dust off my very old writing skills and try to make this piece a little more deserving of your views!

You had dreamed of seeing him again many moons ago, but not like this. Never like this. How did this path unravel for the young man you knew? How did he turn into the man that brought fear and pain to the galaxy? You had crumbled to the floor by now. Exhausted from the convulsions your cries sent through your body. You didn’t have the strength to, or even want to move to the bed in the middle of the room.

Your dreams now filled with memories of your time spent with Ben Solo so many years ago. Whether you willed yourself to have these dreams, or your body was reacting to seeing him again, you were unsure. You had no will to fight them away, so you slept. Watching moments of a time you wished to forget run through your mind.

You watch yourself, sneaking up the hill into the village where the young Jedi train. Your friends had finally persuaded you to join them. “it’s harmless” cooed Hesia. You would never admit out loud that you had been dying to peak at the inner workings of the Jedi training camps.   
Giggling, you made your way into the village, creeping through the maze of huts, careful to not be seen. You couldn’t tell if it was the cover of night, or the place you were in that rushed a calm wave over your body, but you knew this would not be your last time sneaking in to explore. Your thoughts cut off, as Hesia and Neyleh tugged at your arm. Someone had heard you three rummaging around the village and it was time to leave. As you made your way to the road, you stopped to let your friends pass ahead of you, something pulled you away. You felt the gaze of someone burning into you. You turn to look back at the village and the feeling fades, your eyes scanning in the darkness reveal no one, so you jog to catch up with your friends. 

You’re back in the Jedi village, this time alone. You couldn’t fight the feeling that someone was watching you that first night in the village. You make your way slowly through the huts, spotting a temple at the end of the road. You move to take a step towards the temple, curiosity and excitement bubbling out of you.

“You’re not allowed to be here” a deep baritone voice stops you in your tracks. “you’re especially not allowed up there” you sense a smile behind his words.

You turn to face him, breath catching in your throat, he is closer than you expected. You step back, that overwhelming feeling from the other night encompassing you. It is only heightened by the beauty of his face. His strong jawline. His long wavy black hair resting on his shoulders. You take in the enormity of his body, broad shoulders, strong arms. 

You shift uncomfortably as you notice him noticing you. A smirk plastered on his face. 

“And you’re not allowed to talk to girls” you tease

He scoffs “of course I can talk to girls” “I’m just not allowed to form any romantic attachments, love or marry” the smirk bigger than ever

“OH, is that all?” you laugh 

Flashes of your romance with Ben solo flush through your mind quickly now. It started slow. Ben was defiant sure, but ultimately obedient. He was to be a mighty Jedi. To follow in the footsteps of his uncle Luke Skywalker, who would not approve of his growing infatuation with you, and yours for him. He tried his hardest to resist you over the months of stolen days and nights together. Stolen nights turned to stolen kisses. Once the line was crossed there was no resisting anymore. Finally giving in to the heavy pull you both felt for each other. You carried on this way for a year. Secretly stealing away to be together any moment you could. 

As time passed you could sense a change in him. He slowly became angry. Pulled away from you at times. Something else was occupying his mind, but you could not pull him back to you no matter how hard you tried. 

You try to fight this memory. The people running, screaming, fleeing the Jedi village. A churning in your stomach causes you to run and push your way through the crowd. You reach the top of the hill to see the temple, the huts, the Jedi Village is destroyed. Fires blazing, people screaming. You run through the rows of destruction. You looked for days and never found him. You waited for years. But he never returned for you. You couldn’t bare to stay on that planet any longer. In your travels you overheard a conversation in a cantina. “No no, its no use. Ben Solo is no more. Ben Solo is dead”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Screaming echoed from his chambers. The sound of metal being sliced and burned, loud thuds of objects being thrown around his room echoed into the corridors. Kylo Ren deactivated his saber and surveyed the destruction he caused on the walls of his room. Sweat beaded at his temples. His chest rose and fell with each breath he greedily sucked in through his clenched jaw, teeth barred. She had refused him, disrespected him. She was disgusted by him. He paced the length of his now destroyed bedroom. Blood boiling as he thought of her, as he replayed her reaction to seeing him, the disgust that washed across her face. The wave of hatred and anger he felt encompass her entire body. Did he really think she wouldn’t have reacted that way?

Hours had passed and Kylo was as restless as ever. An overwhelming feeling of shame hung over him. Shame at the way she had reacted to him. And shame for feeling that shame. He would not allow her to make him feel ashamed of who he had become. He has followed his true path and become more powerful than any Jedi ever could, and his plans did not stop there. 

He lies still, sleepless in the dark. His thoughts had only been of her. He knew he should not let her have this affect on him. He should just leave her in that room and resume his duties. Annoyance with himself surfaces at the thought of how he let his weakness for her distract him. 

He found himself making his way to her quarters to confront her. In her anger towards him, he could still sense a longing in her. A need she had for him that had not gone away. He figured he could use that to win her over once more and bring her to see that he was not the evil man she thought he was. He was just bringing much needed order to the galaxy and she could be there by his side. The closer he was to her; he could feel her, sense her thoughts. She was so very loud tonight. Suddenly his breath hitched and he was caught in his tracks by the memories flooding through her mind. She must be dreaming… dreaming of him. 

He entered her room, searching for her in the darkness, finally settling on the ball of a human in the corner, whimpering in her sleep. He loomed over her, noticing the puffiness in her eyes and the tear stains on her cheeks. She must have exhausted herself to sleep because she did not awaken when he slipped into her room. He continued to view her dreams in his mind. Annoyance that he had to relive this life again through her eyes, she had gotten so much of it so wrong. He could feel her happiness in her memories of him, her sadness at the abruptness of his disappearance from her life. He saw it now, she had believed him to have died that night, why else would he have never come to find her? He felt a pang of annoyance at his empathy for her. 

As much as he detested seeing this life in her mind, he welcomed the bits of information that explained her reaction to seeing him reveal himself to her in that very room the day before. He felt conflict creeping in. He felt for her. Still. 

His body shifted as her dreams turned from sorrow to.. pleasure. He snapped his gaze back to reality to look at her. His lifeless eyes the same, but a smirk crossed his lips as he understood. She was now remembering them. Dreaming of all the times they had stolen away together. Not just one memory at a time but all at once. His smirk returned as Kylo wasn’t sure if he was putting these thoughts into her mind or she was dreaming them herself. So many moments of their bodies twisting together. Naked limbs, sweating and sticking like they belonged that way. He felt a bulge grow in his pants as he watched her naked body in her mind. Her body writhing and moaning, calling out for him. He stilled. She wasn’t calling out for him. She was calling out a name that belonged to someone who no longer existed. Annoyance and anger flooded his mind again. She was going to have to learn that the dreams flashing in her mind, the fantasies she was having. They were Childs play. She would learn that the tenderness she clung to in her memories was no longer in store for her. She would learn how to fuck how Kylo Ren liked to fuck.

He waited for her to wake, staring at her, eyes never daring to leave the curves of her body. Tracing the curve of her back with his mind, taking in every dimple and scar, appreciating how much she had changed and yet stayed the same. She would not think the same about him. He was eager to introduce her to the man he had become. Eager to bend her to his will and make her succumb to his power, to his body. 

His mind drifted to hers again, watching her dreams play like old holograms in his eyes. He was sitting across from her, back against the wall. Eyes closed tightly as he swam through her mind. He felt the heavy weight of confliction wash over him. He was drowning in it. His leather fists clench as he silently vowed that he wouldn’t let her pull over him affect him in this way any longer. She would bow to his whims, or she would be taken care of. 

He felt her gaze on him from across the room. Lowering his head from the wall, he opened his eyes to match hers. And he was overcome again. Conflict- fueled by her. 

Fuck


	4. Because Of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo wants to show you something but you do not wish to see it or go anywhere with him. That doesn't stop him from dragging you onto another ship and having a word... and his way with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lets get this party started shall we?

Days have passed with you confined to your room. Your only contact being with the occasional droid who dropped off your food or checked your bandages. Ben- or Kylo? Is it? Had tried to talk to you after you caught him watching you sleep. But you cast him out of your room the second he opened his mouth to speak. It was too soon- you were still in shock and in too much pain. But now you were bored, angry and bored. You were not meant to be kept. You wondered what his plans with you were, now that you knew his identity. You wondered why he plucked you out of the rubble of that little planet. Perhaps you had angered him for the last time and now you were just a prisoner?

You can hear the footsteps coming down the corridor outside of your room. finally some action you thought to yourself. 

The doors slide open and he is standing there. You still can’t get used to it. All at once he is and isn’t the person you once knew. Standing there nearly unrecognizable in those dark robes. Your eyes settle on his face. You can finally see past your own rage towards him and notice that his face has changed so much. His eyes at first seemed so empty, but you now notice the pain inside of them. He might try to seem like he is built of fury and hatred, but he cannot fool you. His face is hardened; he is no longer the young man you once knew. He is bigger… thicker. Though he is cold, he is somehow more attractive. This revelation sends a jolt to the pit of your stomach. 

You stand there looking at each other for what seems like hours, but you know could only have been several minutes. Sizing each other up and taking in the view of someone you used to know. It occurs to you that he has changed so much in such an obvious way. There are tales about him that tell you of the life he has led since you last knew him….but there are no tales about you and your life. He knows nothing about how you have changed and the person you have become. You are not the young lovestruck girl anymore. You have your own secrets and stories…

“I have something to show you”

He cuts off your thoughts with his words.

“No thank you”

You notice his fists clench. You take note that he is easily bothered, it should be easy to get under his skin.

“It was not a request”

“I really don’t care what it was, or what you have to show me”

“Would you please just come with me”

“Oh I’m definitely not going anywhere with yo-“

Your body is suddenly not in your control. You are being lifted by an invisible force and brought toward his outstretched hand. You quickly realize that you can irritate him all you want, but he has one very real and very unfair advantage over you… and unlike before, he is not above using it against you. 

“ You can try to resist me all you want, but I will not be disobeyed”

Your attempts at burning holes into his skull with your eyes are useless. You feel the weight of the force lift off of your body as his hand wraps around your wrist and he begins to drag you out of your room. You try as hard as you can to rip your arm from his grip but no matter how you thrash and scream it. His hand does not budge. 

As he drags you through the corridors of the massive ship, you watch as others rush out of the way. The presence of their Commander brings fear into everyone he comes in contact with and you can feel it radiating off of them. 

“let go of me! You’re hurting me!”

“I SAID LET GO OF ME BEN!”

In an instant, you are thrown to the floor with such force you have to take a moment to process what has happened. You don’t even notice that he is kneeling over you, his face inches from yours. You had not been afraid before, because you thought you knew the person behind the mask, but you fear now that you might have been mistaken.

“DO NOT. CALL ME. THAT”

The rage in his eyes burns into your own. He lingers there for a moment; you almost feel his face inching closer to yours as he stares into your soul. 

With one swift movement he stands and brings you to your feet. 

“Ah Ren! There you are.”

You peer around Kylo Ren to catch a glimpse of who just spoke. A tall, slender redheaded man stands there looking annoyed and impatient.

“General Hux… To what do I owe the pleasure..?”  
“Please Ren, enough with your silly games. I have been waiting for you to deliver the findings of your last little excursion for over a week. It seems you have been too preoccupied with your new little prisoner here. Perhaps I should inform Snoke-“

“You will do no such thing Hux. If you had been any less incompetent, you would have seen that I sent the findings to your datapad the moment I returned from my mission. Or are you simply illiterate and wish me to read them to you like a bedtime story?”

Your eyes flicker back and forth between Kylo and General Hux as you struggle to suppress a laugh at the exchange between the two. You sense the playful nature of Ben Solo has not left him entirely.

General Hux’s already pink skin had turned bright read at this point. You could feel the anger bubbling up in him. He opened his mouth to spit back an insult at Kylo, but was cut off by Kylo telling him he had more important matters to deal with at the moment. 

Kylo lead you further into the ship. You took in every detail, every uniform, and every corridor. You hoped that you might be able to make an escape at some point. 

Your thoughts are cut off once you hear Kylo bark at someone to prepare his ship.

“Oh please, where are we going?!”

“Just get on the ship.”

Kylo had ordered that no crew accompany you. He escorts you onto the ship and begins flight procedures. You can’t help but notice the authority he has, not only over those that work under him, but in his presence. It pains you to see the boy you once knew so well has become such a great man, but in such a terrible way. What pains you more is that as much as you want to fight it, as much anger that you still feel for him leaving you behind and becoming this evil ruler, it excites you. 

You seat yourself as far from him as possible. No amount of excitement you feel can makeup for the anger and pain he has caused you. 

You feel his hand rest gently on your shoulder. “I want to explain myself.. as best that I can”

You turn your head to look up at him, your brow furrowed, confusion and anger written across your face. “…explain what exactly? How you.. abandoned me? How you… murdered everyone you cared about and countless others in this pursuit of.. what? Power?”

“You know, you’re the reason…” “ITS BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU’RE THE REASON I AM THIS WAY”

Kylo is breathing heavy now. His fists are clenched at his sides as his face displays anger and pain and longing.

“excuse me? EXCUSE ME??” “You really think you’re going to place the blame on me for loosing your way Ben?”

“please don’t call me that name” his words were barely a whisper

“Fuck off Ben. How dare you abandon me with no explanation, become a murderous tyrant and then try to blame me, when all I did was… when all I did was love you.”

“WILL YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT UP AND LOOK OUT THE VIEWPORT!”

You stare at him for a moment, anger waves pulsing over you as you fight back the tears that have begun to form at the corners of your eyes. You slowly turn to the viewport. Your breath hitches as you slowly move closer to the window, your body now leaning over the control panel at an attempt to get a better view. A galaxy of stars and planets, the brightest colors and most beautiful shapes are laid out in front of you. A sight you have never seen, more beauty than you had ever imagined existed in the entire universe was right before your eyes. 

“ I could never have given this to you. Not before. Not on the path that I was on”

You don’t respond to him, you absorb his words and keep your eyes on the view.

He sits down in the chair closest to you. His body slumps as he buries his head in his hands for a moment before he continues to speak. 

“My feelings for you.. They were not the Jedi way. Luke could sense that there was something distracting me, and that angered me. I couldn’t stand the thought that something that brought me such joy was forbidden to me... keeping us a secret was exciting at first, but then it became a burden. A constant reminder that my life was not my own”

You turn to face him; you can still feel the anger written across your face. He reaches out slowly to grab your hand but you pull away before he can reach you.

“It was wrong of me to blame you, I didn’t mean it that way. There was always something in my mind, a voice feeding me thoughts of doubt and darkness. There was always this feeling that I was not where I belonged. That there was more for me out in the universe and that I was being held back by trivial limitations. I know now that that voice was Snoke. He had always been there. Once I realized that neither Snoke nor Luke had seen you in my mind… I couldn’t come back for you. I had kept our story locked away so tightly that you were kept from those who would constantly search my mind for distractions.. and after everything had happened, if you had known what I had done… I figured you would want nothing to do with me. It wasn’t until I saw your dreams the other night, that I realized you thought I had died that night in the village” 

You stand there in silence for a while, taking in everything he has said. Emotions and memories overwhelming you. You can see the desperation written across his face.

“So why show me this?” You gesture to the viewport

He stands now, facing you and moving towards you slowly. Had he always been this large? You don’t remember him towering over you in such a manner. Perhaps this was a trait of Kylo Ren and not Ben Solo. As he entraps you with your back against the control panel, you can feel your heartbeat start to quicken. You are sure that if he has changed so much physically, then his powers with the force must have advanced as well and he is more than well aware of the effect he is having on you. He rests one hand on the control panel on either side of you, effectively securing that you cannot escape his gaze as he lowers himself to be eye level with you. 

He hasn’t answered you yet. Instead he pulls his gaze from your eyes to look out the viewport, his face still inches from yours. You study his face, his eyes wandering to another place. They’re full of sadness and regret. You can feel your heart breaking for him. If he is trying to strip away your anger towards him, you hate to admit that it is working. He is chipping away at the shock and pain you felt the moment you realized the love of your life had not only survived, but left you behind to believe the worst. You can’t help but think of the days after you discovered the village engulfed in flames. The rumors that everyone there had perished. The deep grief that overcame you for so long.

“Please… Your thoughts. I can feel the pain I put you through. I can’t take it.” His eyes flicker to yours before he bows his head in shame. 

“Ben… why am I here…”

“Please, Ive asked you not to call me that.”

You hesitate for a moment.. but ultimately decide against an argument with him over the matter “…alright”

“I felt your presence that day… before I even saw you, I felt you there. And when I saw you lying there in the rubble of that building, I had a decision to make. I tried my hardest to resist it, but I couldn’t. I had to have you with me. As much as I fought myself those days after, I could not deny the pull you have over me. Stronger now that it ever was before.”

His words are clouding your mind. He continues to speak as you try to process them. 

“I could feel the agony and anger you felt towards me that day in your room, when I took off my mask. You felt betrayed and so sad. I knew that it would be a battle to get you to this point, but I needed to show you. I have become so much more than Ben Solo ever could have been. I can offer you everything you have ever wanted and so much more. I brought you here to show you that there is more than anger and destruction that I can offer.” He gestures to the viewport, the clusters of stars and planets sparkling back at you. “ This can be ours, not just this but every universe, everything that there is to offer, I will find it for you.”

You stand there in complete shock, still trapped in the cocoon of his arms on either side of you. Your mind is swimming with doubts and questions. 

“You can’t just kidnap me and spin this tale of a love story and think that I will forgive and forget. And another thing, are you really asking me to join you in your journey to terrorize the universe?” You are now standing upright, making yourself as big as you can, glaring into his eyes with anger and frustration.

“I saw your dreams, I feel your conflict. You dreamt of me. You were overcome with so many emotions…”

You push away from him, noticing the sturdiness of his chest as you do. You rush to get away from him, to avoid the conversation but his hand catches your arm as you try to place distance between the two of you. Your arm is still caught in his clutch but you refuse to turn to look at him. You can’t bear to let his words soften you. Not after all that he has done. 

“I seem to remember you making a promise to me, that you wouldn’t use your Jedi mind tricks on me. That you wouldn’t invade my thoughts…”

“Ah well… I never made that promise. Even so, your thoughts have become so loud to me. There is something in your mind that calls out to me now. Much louder than it has before.”

You stare back at him, confused by what he meant. He pulls you closer to him; his voice is almost a whisper now. Your heartbeat thumps so loudly you feel as though it is being projected throughout the ship. He loosens his grip on your arm, as his other hand falls to the small of your back pressing your body against his. Your breath hitches as he stares into you. His eyes like fire taking in all of you. His pouty mouth slightly falls open as his eyes flicker to your lips. You know what he wants but can tell that he is hesitating. Lust for you is seeping out of him and it sends a blaze of guilt throughout your systems, guilt fueled by your lust that equals his. His face slowly moves towards yours. He closes his eyes as he places his forehead against yours. You’re hit with the memory of all of the tender moments you shared this way in the past. 

“I know that you’re angry with me…” he whispers  
“… but allow me to show me all the ways I can try to make it up to you.”

All at once, his lips are pressed against yours, and his hands have traveled to your thighs as he bends down to lift you up and wrap them around his body. His lips rest on yours for a beat, electricity flowing from them into you. His kiss quickens as he moves with you still in his arms to the large pilots chair behind him. He sits down, placing you in his lap all while his mouth explores yours. Your head is spinning. His face pulls away from yours as he laces his fingers through your hair. His eyes are questioning yours, he is wondering if you’re going to allow him to continue, and so are you. You hadn’t expected him to be so tender. You were still so angry with him, at the person that he had become. Your wounds of heartbreak had been reopened and you were feeling too many things at once. You stare up into his pleading eyes, thoughts of lust and anger swirling in your mind. You can’t allow him to think that you condone what he has become… but fuck it, you can start over tomorrow…

You grab fistfuls of his dark curly hair and pull him back to you. You can feel the tension in his body leave all at once with the sigh that escapes him as he presses his lips back onto yours. This time he is eager to make himself known. His tongue parts your lips and his teeth nip at your bottom lip. He slowly releases one hand from your hair and begins to trace his fingers down your back causing you to quiver in his arms. Every small movement he makes sends sparks through your body straight to your center. It feels as though you are connected and there are currants flowing through your bodies making you one. 

You inch forward on his lap to be as close to him as possible. Your sex is met with the solid bulge that has formed in his pants and a low growl rumbles in his throat as you brush against it. His hand is pressed firmly at the base of your spine. He moves to stabilize you as his other hand travels from your hair to the button of your pants. His gloved fingers dance across the place where fabric meets your skin. You let out a small gasp and your fingers tighten in his hair. He breaks away from kissing you to remove his gloves from his hands with his teeth and spits them to the ground. With both hands he grabs at your now unbuttoned pants and tugs them down your thighs. For a moment he looks deep into your eyes and you feel as though it is not the ship keeping you two afloat in space, but something else entirely. 

His hand is once again at the base of your skull, entangled in your hair as he brings you in closer to kiss you first on the lips, then your neck as he trails his other hand over your exposed sex. At first his touches are light, teasing as he swirls one finger over your mound. He nibbles at your ear and when he speaks, his deep baritone whisper is so close it sends a wave of lust over you. 

“So wet for me already” he pants.

Quickly two fingers trail down your lower lips and he thrusts them inside of you. You moan and jolt forward grabbing onto him tightly at the feeling of his fingers filling you. His movements are quick and fierce now. His fingers thrust in you rapidly as his thumb circles around your mound. He grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls tightly so that your head is tilted and he can stare into your eyes as he pleasures you. The twinge of pain excites you.

“Place your hands on my shoulders” he orders

“what?!” you barely manage to pant 

Suddenly his hands are gripping your thighs and he lifts you off his lap and drapes you over his shoulder. You’re dangling over the back of his captains chair as he removes your pants and tosses them to the floor. His hands slowly caress your ass before he grips your thighs once more and repositions you so that your legs open up conveniently and your sex is aligned with his face. You finally understand as you brace yourself on his shoulders. You take mental note at the sheer strength of him, his elbows placed on the arm rests so that his palms can rest under your ass cheeks as you’re held up in the air, your legs held wide open on either side of his head. 

He takes one last look up at you before he moves in to place agonizingly slow kisses from your knees inward. His tongue reaches the crease where your thigh meets your area and he traces all the way to your mound. You collapse and grab for the back of the chair as his lips surround your clit. He sucks and licks so feverishly you fear you might burst into fragments and cease to exist. He begins to hum which sends vibrations throughout your body as you finally feel release. 

He slowly lowers you back onto his lap planting kisses on your body as he does so. You’re still in a daze as he begins to pull your shirt over your head revealing your breasts for him to grasp. 

He embraces you tightly as he stands from the captains chair with you still in his arms. He walks over to the viewport and sits you down on the built in desk of the control panel. As one hand unbuttons his pants, his other hand traces the length of your skin from your neck, to your breasts, to your mound. You help him to remove his many layers of robes as he does so. You wish to take him in as he is now, noticing every new scar that wasn’t there before. You trace your fingers over each ridge of lifted marks that litters his chest. You feel tears fill your eyes as you look up to his face. You can’t help but think of the countless times he has been in danger and you never knew about it. “It’s nothing.. please don’t worry” he assures you, as his hand moves to cup your cheek. He bends down to kiss you softly.

Your hands on his chest move down slowly towards his member. You grasp it in your hands firmly, sliding them up and down until you feel a bead of precum drip from the top. Every moan that escapes his lips vibrates in your ears sending waves of lust through you.

“I’ve been wanting to do this to you since I plucked you out of the rubble and brought you onto my ship the first time”

He leans forward, pressing his body against yours and pressing your back against the viewport. He places one hand under you to position your hips dangling off the edge of the desk closer to his. His other hand swipes up your lower lips to gather your wetness and uses it to lube up his length before he enters you. He slowly teases your cunt with the head of his penis, trailing it up and down, swirling it with pressure over your mound. 

“Please Kylo…” The name still feels so odd coming off of your lips

He grips his member and places it at your entrance. He slowly slides himself inside of you. You have not felt the size of him this deeply in so long that the feeling catches you off-guard. He begins to thrust and lets out a moan of pleasure so deep you cant help but squeeze your walls tighter in response.

With one hand still at the small of your back, he braces himself with his other against the viewport. He thrusts quicker and harder each time, grunting and moaning your name. You feel so incredibly full you feel the tingle building up inside of you once more. You arch your back as waves of pleasure threaten to overcome you too soon. With your head tilted so far you open your eyes and catch the image outside of the ship again. The swirling of planets and moons. It seems that every color in existence has gathered here to dance for you. You didn’t appreciate it as much earlier, but as your body succumbs to the thrusting and you shudder with ecstasy, you understand why he brought you here. Your orgasm waves over you as he thrusts through his own powerful release. He collapses onto you, pulling you into an embrace. His face lands in the crook of your neck where he plants soft kisses as you both struggle to regain your breath. You fight the thoughts of worry and wonder as to what will happen once you’re off this ship. You return soft kisses back to him as you run your fingers through his sweat soaked hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> I hope you liked it. I think I might finally feel a groove coming on in my writing. I love a sad conflicted Kylo. But hes still got to be angry and brooding amirite? Please please as always let me know your thoughts, concerns or suggestions! Thank you to everyone who has read so far.


	5. Lost Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After tender moments shared with Kylo Ren, he tells you he wishes to keep you near him. Your response is not to his liking and you quickly learn that Kylo has no intentions of letting you return to whatever life you had built for yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has ready my story so far. I hope that you are enjoying it as I am working on my wiring style still. I am sorry this chapter is so short. I have had loads of writers block lately. I am so astonished by the amazing writing that you all have out there. I don't know how you write such long and captivating chapters every time. I did however feel that this chapter ended where it was supposed to. I considered blending the next one with this one for the sole purpose of making it longer but alas, here we are. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy and I hope to have the next one up for you soon! 
> 
> Thank you all again so much for reading my story.

You wake up but don’t open your eyes just yet, choosing instead to savor the moment. Lying on the floor of the ship with your head in his lap and his fingers running through your hair. His cloak carefully placed over you to keep you warm, a sweet gesture you take note of. Your mind wanders, replaying the way his hands felt caressing your body. The way his lips traveled slowly down your neck and set your skin on fire in their wake. You spent so many stolen nights with him this way, but there was something so different about it now. He was so precise in his movements. He had such control and strength and power and that excited you.  
The hum of the ship tells you that you are still somewhere in space away from his base. You have mixed emotions at the events of the day. As much as you thoroughly enjoyed what had just happened between the two of you, you know that it only happened in a moment of weakness.

You finally accept that it is time to come back to reality and open your eyes to look up at him. His gaze is somewhere away from here. You can’t help but stare at him, taking in his features. It had been so long since you were able to lie in his arms and admire his beauty. His strong jawline and tussled hair. The way his chest would rise and fall with every breath he took. His intoxicating scent had changed, but not in an unsavory way. His eyes held so much sadness in them, this sent ripples of guilt through you as you thought of how much you just want him to be only yours again.

The smallest hint of a grin briefly crosses his lips as his eyes meet yours admiring him. A flash of Ben enters your mind. His other hand cups your face, his thumb resting on your cheek. His eyes rest hungrily on your lips as his part slightly causing your breath to hitch in your throat. His hand lingers, caressing your cheek for a moment before his fingers move slowly down your throat, chasing a line down your shoulder lingering on your breast. Something dark glints in his eyes as he traces his fingers around your nipple sending sparks through your body. His fingers move agonizingly slow down your stomach and back up to gently fondle your breasts. There was something so intoxicating about his confidence, his dominance.

“I’m going to have you moved to my quarters” he says, his eyes intensely looking into yours.

You spoke before you even had the chance to think “…Kylo no…”

His fingers tense in your hair and on your body, confusion marked across his brow. “No?”

You rise from his lap to seat yourself next to him, clutching his cloak to your chest, suddenly aware of how naked the both of you are. You clear your throat, shifting uncomfortably, buying time and preparing yourself for the conversation you don’t want to have. The conversation that pains you so much you consider for a moment not having it at all.

“Kylo this… what happened… we shouldn’t have done it.” You almost have to convince yourself as the words escape your mouth. For a time reuniting with Ben was all that you could think about. Having the love of your life by your side again was the image that invaded too many dreams at one point of your life. But this simply, was not Ben Solo anymore. He was colder towards you, even in moments of tenderness you felt the bitterness that had invaded him. And frankly, you were not the same girl. You lived a lifetime of experiences without him and you had a life to return to.

You refuse to give any merit to the thoughts in the back of your mind that might suggest you would actually want to stay with Kylo Ren. If you give into them you’re not quite sure what that could mean for you. You could give in to your yearning for someone who doesn’t exist anymore, to stay with someone who slightly, maybe sometimes resembles him. But would that diminish you? Would that betray the person you have become? Everything you believe in?

“Kylo.. I want to go home, I want to return to my life…” you struggle over the next words “…I can’t stay here.”

His jaw clenches before he speaks again. “You don’t want to stay with me…”

His words cut through you. “It’s… It’s more complicated than that…”

You place your hand on his arm and he rips away from you, turning his body as he does so.

He scoffed as he rose to his feet and stomped to the other side of the ship gathering his clothing off the floor as he moved. His mood has shifted and you suddenly feel panicked. “Kylo… I can return home.. cant I?”

He didn’t speak as he pulled his legs through his pant legs and sat in his captains’ chair. He began pushing buttons on the control panel, preparing the ship for your journey back. You stared at him from your position on the floor, unable to move as the realization flooded over you. Moments passed before he spoke again. “Ill have you moved to more comfortable quarters of your own.” He announced as he pulled his black shirt over his head.

With that you knew the conversation was over. You watched as he maneuvered the ship to fly you back to his base. Anger slipping off of him in waves crashing into the walls of the ship and filling you up. Was he so self absorbed that he could not see your anger towards him as well? The dark side had made him greedy and selfish. He felt, it seemed, that everything belongs to him. Your rejection, and his reaction to it, had clearly shown you that he did not care about your feelings or what you might want. No amount of familiarity between the two of you would garner the respect you thought you deserved from him. He might be used to others blindly following him and praising his every move, but you were not a mindless follower of the First Order. You fight the tears threatening your eyes as you think of the person you once loved. What could have pushed him so far away. It was like losing him all over again.

\-----

Kylo didn’t speak to you as he held you firmly by the arm and dragged you down the ramp of the ship. It was as if the last few hours, the tender moments you shared together had never happened. You looked up at him hoping to find any sign of emotion, any sign that he wasn’t fully gone, but no such sign was given. He hadn’t even bothered to look at you since your conversation on the ship had abruptly ended. You had dressed yourself in silence as he kept his eyes on the viewport, concentrated on flying through the galaxy, as if he couldn’t get back quick enough.

As you enter the hanger you’re taken aback by the wave of black coming towards you. Six figures, all resembling Kylo Ren in different ways, with large weapons and a sense of destruction seeping off of them were approaching. The Knights of Ren. Each knight, masked and cloaked in darkness. Ready to strike and void of remorse. The sight of them sent a cool shiver down your spine.

You had heard many stories of them in your travels. Tales of the ruthlessness of this band of mercenaries had reached the farthest ends of the galaxy. Of course you had always known that Kylo and The Knights of Ren were closely connected, but now, seeing them together… This brought to light the sobering fact that while The Knights of Ren were a murderous tool of The First Order, it was Kylo Ren who ultimately was their leader. Kylo was the one calling all the shots and causing the wave of destruction they left everywhere they went.

The horrible crimes they commit in the name of The First Order… in the name of Kylo Ren. You had tried so hard to separate him from the Evil person he had become. You wanted to believe that there was still some piece of Ben Solo inside of him. Your stomach begins to churn as you realize facts that you already knew to be true. Facts that your emotions had tried to protect you from. The Kylo you had just spent the last several hours with, and the Kylo Ren of the Knights of Ren, Commander of the First order, were one in the same.

With the simple wave of his hand, his Kinghts stop in their tracks awaiting his next command. Kylo turns to a nearby storm trooper and instructs him to escort you to another part of the base and see to it that there are quarters prepared for you. He has made it so that you are not allowed to interact with anyone, you are not to leave your quarters, and there is to be 24/7 “protection” guarding your door at all times. You open your mouth to protest, to try to reason with Kylo Ren , but he is already gone, making his way to the wall of black cloaks. You hear a modified “Master Ren” come from the masked knight standing closest to Kylo.

Two storm troopers have each of your arms in their hands as they follow Kylos orders and begin to walk with you towards your new prison. You struggle to break free from the grasp of the two storm troopers who now have painful grips on your arms. As they lead you towards the exit of the hangar, you look back at Kylo, tears silently stream down your cheeks as you scream out in your mind to him. Willing him to look at you, to reconsider this life, this person he has chosen to become. Begging him to let you go.

Kylo does not give any indication that he can hear you or that he even cares to listen. His attention placed soley on his knights and the conversation he is having with them. Kylo must have given an order to his Knights as they turn and move in unison towards the opposite side of the hangar, Kylo moves to follow them but stops, bowing his head. You feel as though everything is happening in slow motion. You push against the storm troopers trying to break free. You see the slightest movement from Kylo, almost as if he is second guessing himself. His beautiful head still faced towards the ground, tilts slightly in your direction, _Please Kylo, just look at me_ , but his eyes never reach yours. You fight harder against the storm troopers grasp, trying hard to break free and stay in his presence. You pull away from them only to have their arms around your waist, lifting you up and carrying you away, your last view of Kylo, is of him lifting his mask and placing it on his head. Shutting you out. He continues behind his knights, with great force in his stride and without looking back at you.


	7. Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're in you're new quarters and you're not very happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellllloooo
> 
> Man the writers block is so real lately. Anyone else just stressed to the max with everything going on or is it just me? lolol
> 
> I want to thank everyone who has read and continues to read. I really want to get this story out, bare with meee and thank you thank YOU!

You run down the glossy black hallways of the giant ship searching for a place to hide. If you weren’t so focused on trying to escape, you would take the time to marvel at the sheer magnitude and enormity that was The Finalizer. You had spent the past few days and nights gathering as much information as you could to plot your escape. Sitting at the door of your quarters listening to the muffled conversation of the troopers who guarded your door. You began to understand the use of clones in the past, it seemed that they had sent their most dim witted bucket-heads to guard “Kylo’s little prisoner”. You decide to not worry about just how easy it was to slip past tweedle- dee and tweedle- dum undetected, not to mention how empty the ship had seemed to be so far…

The sound of two First Order personnel quickly approaching causes a bead of sweat to form at your temple. You had somehow managed to make it this far unseen by anyone and you could feel freedom at your fingertips. If you could just make sense of the maze that was this vast space station floating through the galaxy. You really hadn’t even expected to last five minutes wandering around the ship before you were found and dragged back to your quarters, something was definitely off.

You duck into a dark alcove and attempt to steady your breathing as the officers round the corner and come into view. Lost in conversation and unaware of your presence, they make their way past you. _It really can’t be this easy_ you think to yourself. You linger in the shadow of the tiny alcove for a moment to be sure its safe to proceed.

You travel down hallways and corridors, your heart pounding harder with each step you take. It seems as though each thud of you heart is being broadcast throughout the ship, like a beacon calling out your exact location. You run faster. _There MUST be a way out of here._

Finally, turning the corner the slightest sense of relief floods into you. A hangar filled to the brim with ships of all sizes is just within your reach. You just have to reach the end of the corridor and you can steal a ship and escape..

all you have to do is reach the end of the corridor….

No matter how fast you run towards it, the hangar seems to slip further and further away from you. You push your feet harder into the ground with each step, trying to close the gap between you and the nearest ship.

_You just need one chance, one ship, you’re so fucking close._

“Ahhh, well what do we have here…”

Terror overcomes you as you’re suddenly frozen in place, standing face to face with General Hux flanked by four storm troopers, each one with a blaster pointed straight at you.

A sinister smirk plastered across his pale face. He runs a gloved hand through his greasy hair. “Commander Ren’s Precious Prisoner” he made sure to enunciate every syllable, spitting out each word with an undertone of disgust.

He turns back to eye the hangar full of ships. “Planning a little trip are we?” His evil grin that spreads across his lips as he turns back to face you sends bile bubbling up your esophagus.

No matter how hard you try to move, you’re frozen in place as he slowly steps closer towards you. His nose is inches from your face now, his breath hot on your cheek as he speaks.

“Whatever shall we do with you…”

You mean to speak but the words wont escape your lips.

“You know, I didn’t appreciate that little show he put on for you the other day, embarrassing me in front of you… I saw you laughing at me”

You think back to your first interaction with General Hux. Kylo had made a fool of him in front of you.

His voice is low as he moves to speak into your ear. “Maybe its time for Kylo Ren to lose his Precious Prisoner.”

His eyes, once a pale green had now flickered into a fiery crimson as his glare burns into you. His lip quivers at the corner as he places his gloved hands around your throat and slowly begins to squeeze.

You gasp for air and claw at his arms trying to push him off of you. It seems to take no effort for him to deprive you of oxygen; your attempts at breaking free of his grasp are no match for the strength of his grip on your throat. His face is tense and red as he continues to rip the life from your lungs. Your mind begins to fall into a hazy abyss, darkness making its way in through the corners of your eyes. Tears stream down your cheeks as you feel your body go limp and you know it’s too late.

You wake in a cold sweat, sitting up you clutch your throat reaching for hands that aren’t there. Your face soaked in tears. It was a different version of the same nightmare you had every night since the storm troopers escorted you to your new quarters.

Each day had blended together, storm troopers guarded the door to your room at all hours. The only interaction you had, if you could call it that, was with the service droid who would drop off your meals throughout the day. Each night of restless sleep left you with more anger towards Kylo than the one before. How long did he plan to keep you here?

\------------

A week had passed, the nightmares have subsided thankfully, but your boredom has only increased. Yesterday you resorted to essentially kidnapping the service droid who delivered your food just to have some amusement, and hopefully some conversation with whatever human would come to fetch him.

You lay sprawled out across the floor in front of your bed contemplating what mischief you could hopefully cause today to entertain yourself when you hear the hum of your bedroom doors swish open.

A Knight of Ren enters, terrifyingly sheathed in black leather and armor from head to toe. He lingers for a moment eyeing your position on the floor. You can’t see his eyes behind his mask, but you can feel the confusion seeping off of him as he. The Knight was so large you hadn’t noticed the storm trooper who had entered behind him carrying a large box. He grabbed the box from the storm trooper and stepped over you to place it on you bed.

“Commander Ren wanted you to have these, perhaps they will keep you from attacking anymore droids”.

You can hear the smirk in his tone as he turned to exit.

“I didn’t attack him, I was just looking for a new friend”

He stopped for a moment and tilted his head slightly to look at you through the corner of his mask. The smallest hint of a breathy laugh escaped him before he stomped out of the door, dark robes billowing out behind him as he entered the hallway and you are once again locked alone in your quarters.

_Jokes with a Knight of Ren, that’s knew_.

You sit up and scooch over to the side of your bed to bring the box down to where you sit. It’s much heavier than you expected and the box drops with a thud, spilling out some of the contents. _Books?_

You notice a folded piece of paper trapped under one of the books. You open it and see a message written in familiar writing.

_To keep you company while I cannot._

_\- KR_

You run your hands across the covers of the books, mixed emotions clouding your mind. _A sweet gesture from someone holding you hostage_ you roll your eyes thinking to yourself. A gesture from someone who knows you well enough to send your favorite books to keep you company. He couldn’t have just had these books lying around waiting for you. Some of these where editions that hadn’t been seen in decades, rare and beautiful versions of your favorite books… _when and how did he get these…_

\---------------

The days where a little easier to stomach now that you had your books, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept the position you were in. Two weeks had come and gone and you hadn’t heard from Kylo. He seemed quite angry with you when you rejected him on his ship that day. He wouldn’t even look at you when you pleaded with him to let you go, you felt the hesitation in his demeanor. No matter how angry you were with him, no matter how much time had passed and how much you had both changed, you knew him.

There was this fire between the two of you that had only seemed to grow hotter and burn brighter after being apart for so long. The connection that was there before was stronger than ever. Just because you had a life that you wanted to return to, just because your life no longer revolved around the person that Kylo once was, didn’t mean that you couldn’t feel the incredible pull your body had towards him. He had always been there in the dark corners of your mind, and now those corners were set ablaze with him. You’re so angry with him for keeping you here against your will, but to leave you alone for so long? What is the purpose. Is this punishment for rejecting him?

That day spent with him on the ship, the moments of vulnerability… You couldn’t get it out of your head. Its not that you didn’t want to stay and be with him, but you just couldn’t excuse the person he had become. And he definitely hadn’t done anything to redeem himself.

You had spent the last week being angry with him, unwilling to think of the gentle words he shared with you on the ship. It had certainly caught you off guard. The way he spoke to you then, the way he explained that he was only trying to protect you from those that had invaded his mind and corrupted him.

These revelations only bring more sadness. Why couldn’t he have trusted you then? Why did he have to go down this path and leave you behind? Was your love not enough for him then? Was he that far gone already?

You spent everyday like this, a constant battle with yourself in your head. Loving the person he once was. Hating the person he had become but seeing the slightest glimpses of who he was in him now. It was frustrating and exhausting.

You had finally worried yourself to sleep for the night when the sound of your bedroom door whizzing open and several storm troopers barging in startled you awake. You don’t even have a moment to register what is happening before you are being dragged out of your bed and into the corridors.

“What the fuck is going on!?.. Where are you taking me!”

No one answers you as they place binders on your wrists and forcefully guide you further away from your room.

You begin to notice that you are not the only ones out at this time of night. In fact the ship appears to be bustling with panicked personnel running past you.

“What’s going on… did something happen?... Where is everyone running to and WHY the FUCK do they look so scared?”

The storm troopers are almost running now, causing you to stumble over your own feet as you're dragged through the massive ship. They're eager to get you to your destination of which you were still unsure.

Panic rushes over you..

“Wait… Where is Kylo Ren?... Are you taking me to him? Please what is going on?? Where is KYLO??”

You seem to have reached the heart of the ship. Blaring alarms ring overhead as storm troopers and First Order personnel of all different stations rush to their posts. Your heart feels as though it has fallen into your stomach, there is no sign of Kylo anywhere…

You’ve been quite literally ripped out of bed and thrown into a small dark cell with other prisoners of the First Order. No one has any solid information, just whispers that there had been an explosion on another base… Panic and unease creeps slowly throughout every molecule of your body as you consider the worst.

You had seen so many people running through the ship. So many panicked and determined faces, but none of them were Kylo… You couldn’t shake the awful feeling invading every inch of your body… The connection you felt to him… the fire that had been burning so bright was flickering and fading away…


	8. I Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally let Kylo know just how well you know him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.. we're at the chapter that sparked my writing this Fic. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much for reading!

Time has seemed to have lost all meaning. You spent the last week locked away in the dark dingy cell of The Finalizer. The commotion of the night that you were ripped from your bed and dragged down to the lower levels of this mighty hub of The First Order had since subsided. You spent the first few days trying to gather any and all information about the supposed explosion on the other base, but the other prisoners were just as clueless as you were, and your captors were not keen to divulge any information. Your nerves had been shot wondering if something had happened to Kylo. It had been weeks since you had even seen him and he hadn’t come to free you from this prison. Either something horrible has happened to him, or he didn’t give a single fuck about where you were. Perhaps this was your new reality and he had made it so.

Anxiety, fear and anger bled into one another. They had been your constant companions for too long. After days locked away with strangers, the treatment you were subjected to being an actual prisoner now… you finally let the calm of numb nothingness wash over you. If this was your life now, it was better to just not care about any of it. If Kylo was going to let you rot here…

You couldn’t bear to think of the other alternative. The thought of having to go through the loss of him again.. It was much easier to just be mad at him, or try to feel nothing at all.

The days were all a blur to you now, each day blending into the next. You were far too familiar with the interiors of this cell. You spent your days listening to the quiet chatter of the other prisoners but never engaging them in conversation. You had a knack for keeping invisible when you wanted to. For the most part, no one seemed to want to bother you in here, and you preferred it that way.

You would gather any bit of information from them as you could while seemingly remaining uninterested. Any hope of escape was out of the question when you learned of another prisoner meeting his demise when he unsuccessfully tried to do so. You knew from the trip from your previous quarters down to this cell that the ship was a maze, there would be no easy way out.

You lay face up on the cold, uncomfortable bench in the far corner of the small cell, letting the faint mutterings of the other prisoners lull you into another night of restless sleep.

\-----

Several hours had passed when you were startled awake by the sounds of a struggle in the corridor outside your cell door. Loud thuds and crashing- what sounded like bodies being flung into the walls grew louder as whatever was outside drew closer. You sit up slowly, your eyes trained on the door, adrenaline pumping throughout your body as you wonder if you are in any danger.

The struggle just beyond the door subsided, the only sound now was the rapid stomp of one set of slow, heavy boots growing louder and pausing just outside your prison. Your mouth was dry as you tried to swallow, watching the door. Anxiety seemed to creep over every surface of your skin. A moment later your cell door whizzed open revealing Him, draped in his black robes, panting in the door frame, backlit from the florescent lights in the corridor. His shoulders rose and fell with heavy mechanical breaths escaping his mask which was glowing with the red light emanating from the glow of his lightsaber. Though you could not see them, you felt his eyes trained on you, he slowly lifted one hand out towards you, beckoning for you to come to him. You felt each head in the room turn, their wide eyes falling on you to stare incredulously. Without taking your eyes off of him, you feel as though your body is moving towards him of its own accord. Your mind too spent to put forth the effort, to comprehend what is happening now and the events of the past few months.

You cross the small room and reach Kylo, placing your hand in his, you cross the threshold and here the wooshing of the cell door close behind you. Kylo pulls you into a tight embrace, his gloved fingers entangling themselves in your hair. He disengages his light saber as he wraps his other arm around you. You can feel his body begin to release the tension it was holding as his breaths become softer in his chest. His hands find his way to you shoulders as he pulls you away from him to look at you. You both stand there in the corridor, not speaking, but just staring at each other for what feels like hours, lost in this moment together.

He finally takes your hand and leads you down the corridor without speaking. You have to step over the bodies of storm troopers and officers that Kylo had tossed out of his way like ragdolls. You look up and notice deep slashes of melted metal on the walls. You feel as though everything is happening in slow motion as your eyes flicker around to take in the surroundings. The bodies on the floor, your hand in his as he leads you away from the dark cell you were confined to. You notice the slight hunch in his back as he walks. The air of confidence and intimidation he once stalked though life with seemed to be damaged. You felt sadness and torment creeping out of his mind and into yours. You felt relief that your connection to him had returned, you could never explain it, but didn’t matter now.

You reach the end of the corridor and see a Knight of Ren waiting for you by the elevators.

“Vicrul, please escort her to my chambers and stay with her until I return”

“ No please, can’t you just come with me instead?!” Panicked, you turn to Kylo and grab his arm pleading. You hadn’t realized how relieved you felt to have him in your presence again, and you weren’t willing to give him up again. This thought sobered you .

He turns to face you, lifting his arm to cup your face and rub his thumb across your cheek. He tries to make his modified voice sound as soft as he can when he speaks.

“I wont be long I promise. There is just something I need to take care of. Please just go with Vicrul, shower, eat.. do anything you want… I’ll be right behind you.”

You wanted to protest, but his words were so earnest you thought against it.

Vicrul held the elevator door open for you to enter before him. Kylo stood there watching your every move until the doors shut separating you.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylo watched the elevator doors shut and let out a staggered breath he wasn’t aware that he was holding in.

Too many things had happened in the last few weeks, and losing her could not be added to his list. As it was he had come too close to losing his own life just a week ago on Starkiller Base. Remembering the events of that day brought such a weight of sadness and anger over him. He brushed the thoughts away and pushed onward to hunt down General Hux and Chew him out.

Kylo stomped through the hallways of The Finalizer, causing everyone in his path to scurry out of his way bowing their heads to avoid his wrath.

He turned the corner entering Docking Bay Alpha 01, he knew Hux was up early making his rounds before his day began.

“General Hux! A WORD!” Kylo growled

General Hux barely acknowledged Kylo as he continued to perform his routine checks. He always liked to oversee the duties of his subordinates himself.

Kylo bounded across the room towards Hux, struggling to keep himself from igniting his lightsaber and finishing him before he could speak.

“Its nice to see you have recovered from your injuries Ren… The First Order surely could not have survived without you” Hux finally turned to face Kylo as he spoke with a venomous smirk plastered across his face.

“Yes I am doing quite well General. Feeling stronger than ever in fact.”

“Ah yes well… that certainly explains why you have sent eleven of my strom troopers and officers to the med bay this morning.” Hux raised his brow, his smirk faded into a solid line as he accused Kylo.

“ Would YOU like to explain why my prisoner was moved from the quarters I specified she were to be confined to General…?” Kylo was towering over Hux now, only inches from his body. His hand griping the hilt of his saber at his side.

“ Well Ren, as you _should_ remember. Starkiller Base was destroyed and many of our personnel had to be evacuated and brought here. Your _prisoner_ was occupying a perfectly good room that made more use housing members of The First Order rather than catering to a filthy… _prisoner_. Surely you can agree that the well being of your own people takes precedence can you not?”

Hux turned to continue his mundane scrutiny of the docking bay, further pissing off Kylo. “You were unconscious… nearly dead when I plucked you out of the snow, which by the way, I don’t think I ever received a thank you for… I simply relocated her to more appropriate accommodations.”

Kylo struggled to contain his anger towards the general, annoyed that he was the one person who constantly fucked with him and the one person he could not touch. He saw himself as equal to Kylo Ren in rank, but Kylo outranked him in so many ways he could not comprehend.

His leather clad hands were balled into fists as he stared daggers through his mask at General Hux.

“General. I’m going to warn you just this once. Leave the prisoner to me. Lay one finger on her, even so much as look in her direction… and I will not hesitate to throw each of your body parts one by one into space, and believe me… I will take great pleasure in doing so.”

Kylo did not wait for a response from Hux. He exited the docking bay and made his way back to his quarters as fast as he could. The pull she had over him almost carrying him to her as he tried to calm himself and steady his emotions before he reached her.

His anger had slowly begun to subside, but was now replaced with sorrow and guilt. He could never forgive himself for leaving her the way he did when he was angry. He could not have foreseen the events that took place on Starkiller Base, but they were what ended her up in that prison cell for so long while he was recovering.

Would she ever be able to forgive him for what he had done that day…?

Kylo reached his quarters and dismissed Vicrul for the day. He entered his bedroom discarding his mask, cloak, boots and armor before he sat at the edge of his bed waiting for her to come out of the refresher. He listened to the shower run as he tried to gather his thoughts.

Kylo had been in the med bay recovering from the events of Starkiller Base for the past week and had only just regained consciousness hours ago. He refused any further treatment from medical personnel, his only thoughts were of her and he nearly slaughtered everyone who came across his path once he learned that she had been removed from her quarters without his permission or knowledge.

The thought of someone else’s hands on her, the thought that she could be in danger, this sent him into such a fit of rage he destroyed most of the corridors on his way to the prison floor of The Finalizer. The guilt he felt for leaving her the way he had, for abandoning her again… he couldn’t bare it.

Kylo sat slumped at the edge of his bed as he waited for her. His head was bowed low, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands griped through his hair. He was finally calm knowing that she was safe and in his care, but the sorrow lingered. He was now faced with the memories of that day on Starkiller, the memories of his last encounter with Han Solo.

He had expected to feel resolution and clarity, but he only felt chaos and torment. He felt less like himself, as though he was splitting into pieces that could not be held together. He felt pulled into so many directions, his body aching for direction but knowing there would be no relief….

He heard footsteps at the corner of the room and he knew she was standing at the door of the refresher with her eyes on him. He could not bring himself to look at her just yet. He sat there taking in her scent, drinking in the wash of calmness that her presence gave to him. He knew that she was his beacon to reality in this moment.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You stood in the doorway of the refresher, wrapped in a fresh towel after your shower. You took in the massive space that was his bedroom. It was different than the glossy hallways of The Finalizer with its charcoal cement walls and floors. Massive shelves filled with books and various belongings lined the walls. A small desk and chair sat at the other end of the room flanked by a floor to ceiling window into space offering a breathtaking view. He sat at the end of his bed in the middle of the room atop black bedsheets. You took in the sight of him for a moment before you gathered the strength to speak. It had been weeks since you had seen him, and the last encounter was less than pleasant.

“Where. Have. You. Been.” You said through gritted teeth, struggling to fight the tremble in your words.

Kylo didn’t speak. You watched as his fingers clutched harder in his long black tresses. You could feel his pain littering the air around you.

“...You left me.. You left me all alone. You were _punishing_ me!” You speak as you begin to walk towards him.

You stand in front of him now and he still hasn’t moved or spoken. Annoyed, you reach out to remove a hand from his hair.

“Kylo, I’ve just spent the last week in a dingy cell with other prisoners of yours… the least you can do is look at me and explain yourself.”

He drops his hands and raises his head slowly to look at you. Your breath catches in your throat and tears threaten the corners of your eyes.

His eyes are dark and lifeless as he looks through you. Deep circles have made a home underneath them and dark pools of sadness reside inside. Your eyes trace a deep puckering scar that divides his face from his brow, across his cheek, flowing down his neck and disappearing under the collar of his thick black sweater. You wonder how far the scar travels down his body and what/who placed it there. His eyes dart to the floor as he notices you studying his new feature.

You move closer to him and place your hands on either side of his face, willing him to look at you.

“Kylo.. What happened” Your voice is barely a whisper now.

“Its nothing.” He finally speaks as he turns his head away from you and his gaze, again, falls to the floor.

You trace your fingers slowly down the length of the scar, feeling the rigidity of it invading his perfect form. Your fingers slip under the collar of his sweater and he raises his arm to grab your wrist. His eyes riddled with desperation meet yours as his brow furrows. You can tell there is so much hidden behind them. So many words he is biting back and keeping from you.

“Kylo please” You whisper “Please don’t shut me out”

He holds your gaze for a moment, his lips quivering, his attempt at remaining emotionless failing. Something is eating away at him, _what happened? Where has he been?_

He releases his grip on your wrist and bows his head in defeat. Your hands move to the hem of his sweater as you slowly lift it over his head and toss it to the floor. Your eyes fall to his scar trailing across his chest, tears streaming down your cheeks as you think of what could have placed it there. You move to the mound of puckered skin on his shoulder. Your fingers graze it before you notice another terrible scar at his side. A small whimper escapes your throat as your eyes move up to meet his.

“Kylo… what happened.. where did you get these?”

“I told you it is nothing.. I am here. I am alive and I am fine.” His words are sharp

“…Kylo” You sigh “I Know you, you are holding back. You are hiding something from me-“

His eyes narrow and he scoffs “ You don’t _know_ me. Not anymore”

You step back, shocked by his words. You eye him suspiciously for a while. This stupid stupid man. You place your hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at you. You move so that your body is close to his, situated between his legs.

“Kylo Ren I _KNOW_ you.” Your words come out meaner than you intended them to but you roll with it narrowing your brow. You have always known him, no matter who he has become. You know that he is in need, your interrogation will have to wait. You are happy to have him in your presence in one piece. Judging from the state of his body now, things certainly could have ended up much worse.

You stare into his eyes, pleading for him to listen to you. You whisper softly “I know you”

You move your face closer to his as you pull his closer to yours. You graze your lips across the scar that lives upon his cheek. “ I know you” you whisper as you place small kisses along the puckered skin, causing his eyes to squeeze shut and his arms to wrap around your waist pulling you closer than you already are.

You place your lips at the tip of his nose, a gesture you once performed in stolen moments with Ben Solo. A gesture you hoped he would remember, that was so special to you. You kiss his nose and whisper again. “ I. Know. You.”

He opens his eyes to stare into yours. You study each other for a moment, his grip tightens, his large hands spanning the length of your back. His jaw tightens and he brings one hand up, lacing his fingers in your hair. He places his lips firmly on yours. You can feel the desperation in his kiss. The emotions he was so desperately trying to suppress now flooding all around you. His hands are rough on your body as he searches for release. You entwine your fingers in his long wavy hair, pulling on his strands, realizing how much you missed him in these few weeks, matching him in need.

His hand that rests on your back grips the towel wrapped around your body, and with one swift movement, he yanks it from you, exposing your naked form to him. The rush of cool air creating goosebumps to form on your skin. His hand grips your ass, pushing your body into his. His lips leave yours , his tongue trails from your jawline to your collarbone where he sucks and bites eliciting a passionate moan to escape you. His teeth nip and tug their way down your chest finding their way to your breast. His lips engulf it, sending a chill down your spine as his tongue flicks at your hardened nipple.

You release your hands from his hair and find the hemline of his pants, struggling for the zipper, you feel his length trapped beneath. You unzip slowly with one hand as the other grips his impeccable member causing Kylo to bite hard on your breast. His devilish eyes meet yours, passion seeping out of them as you begin to stroke him, precum dripping from his head creating a heavy need in your core. One by one you lift your legs to straddle him on the bed. His hands move to the crease of your ass and thighs to support you. You massage your slit with the head of his cock as you look into his eyes. You feel as though you might set fire, your need for him is so great. You know in this moment that you have never known another the way you know this man.

“I know you” you whisper as you line his cock up with you and slide slowly onto him. You wrap your arms around his neck, fisting his hair tightly. The feeling of him filling you up overwhelms you. You raise your hips and align your lips with his ear before you slam your cunt back down on his cock, sending him deeper into you. “ I know you.” You whimper into his ear. A low growl escapes his lips, his fingers dig into the skin of your behind sending electricity through your body.

You quicken your movements, sending him deeper into you with each thrust.

“I know you.”

“I know you.”

“I know you.”

“I know you.”

“I KNOW you.”

“I KNOW YOU!”

“I KNOW YOU!!”

Kylo moans with each thrust, each declaration. The sounds of pleasure emanating from him causing you to push over the edge. Your body shakes, you grip his neck tightly as you explode in ecstasy on his dick.

He moves one hand up to cradle your face and bring your lips to his. His kiss is so passionate as he returns your thrusts and carries you through your orgasm. Your body relaxes in his arms as the last wave rushes through you.

“Hold on.” He instructs.

Kylo grips around you as he stands and turns to face the bed with you still straddling him in his arms. He lays you down on the bed and removes his pants leaving them at his feet. He grips his length, wet with your slick, stroking it as he stares down at your naked body glistening with the afterglow of your release. He lowers himself onto the bed so that his face is perfectly aligned with your pussy. A smirk flashes in his eyes as his tongue finds your slit, lapping up your wetness. He traces his way up slowly landing on your sensitive mound, wasting no time, he envelopes it in his mound and begins to suck on it, humming as he does so sending you over the edge once more. Your back arches and your thighs close around his head, yearning for the pressure of his mouth on your clit.

You hear him chuckle as tremors pulse through your body. He kisses your clit once before he licks a slow agonizing trail across your stomach, over each breast, nipping and biting up your throat and landing on your lips. You’re panting now with desire, certain that you’re skin is about to be set aflame by his touch.

He grabs both of your arms and raises them above your head, crossing one wrist over the other and clasping both in one of his massive hands. With his other hand, he lines his cock up with your slit, his eyes dark and wanton staring deep into yours. The weight of his body on top of you, the desire rolling off of him in chaotic waves creates a throb on your already too sensitive area. After a moment like this, staring with such great need into each other’s eyes, his hand moves up from your core leaving his length teasing at the center of you. His fingers entangle themselves in your hair at the base of your neck and he presses his lips firmly onto yours. As his tongue slips into your mouth he thrusts into you, pulling roughly at your hair, eliciting a soft mewl to escape your mouth. With each thrust he pulls at your hair tighter, tugging your head back, offering your neck up to be demolished by his mouth. His breathing becomes staggered and he begins to grunt with each pump into you. The sounds escaping his lips send pulses straight to your core as you feel the waves of release at the edge once more. His thrusts become harder and deeper as he nears climax. You squeeze your legs and interlock your feet around his waist in one final attempt to push him even further into you. His moans turn to growls in his final thrusts, his fist in your hair, the weight of him, the feeling of him filling you up completely… all at once you and kylo reach explosive release together. His thrusts slowing. His grip loosening. Your breathing staggered as he places his lips softly on your neck. Your hands, now freed cradle his head on your chest as you both lay there in your shared bliss.


End file.
